purl necklace
All of the programming languages I know, I have learned on my own. I didn't major in computer science or programming. But I can work my way around some SQL when I need to. (Thank god I don't need to anymore...what a miserable fucking language.) I can usually get the answers to riddles. I am not really the dumbest person I know.
So when I see all of these cute sweaters and hats and blankets that people make and I want to make them too, I say to myself, "Self, you're a bright girl. You can figure things out."
Which would explain my purchase today...a kit that swears on it's package that it has everything you need to "Learn How to Knit." Yay! I had visions of myself making cute little scarfs for friends, sending Miss Ann a cozy blanket, all manner of projects. I pictured myself curled up all cozy, candlight flickering in the background, and me knitting this fabulous thing.
Instead, I opened the pretty book with the colorful pictures ("for beginners and experts alike!" it proclaimed) and found myself completely fucking lost. I mean, I understood the some of the words. Knot. Needle. Yarn. These things I was prepared for. But cast on? Purl? There were these pictures of hands holding the things I knew but I couldn't get my brain to understand that they went together in some kind of order. It looked really simple until I tried to connect it to what it was asking me to do. Then...well, nothing.
I wonder if this is a thing that is passed down from generation to generation. I think that if you grew up with a grandmother or a mother who knitted, it is something that you will eventually be able to do. Perhaps it's genetic, not environmental. Perhaps my DNA cocktail is sans the knitting ingredient. Either way, I do not come from a long line of Stitching Bitches, and I am afraid that the art is lost on me as well. If you need me, I'll be at The Gap picking up a chunky fisherman's sweater.
I do come from a long line of shoppers.
hcg
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Hilarious post, Kelly!
You should get together with my sister -- she's a knitting champ! Dunno why, but last Christmas she got the knitting-bug and decided to knit scarves, gloves, and what not for the entire family.
I don't think the inability to knit makes you any less of a desireable housewife -- if that's what you're worried about. You know, so long as you're able to cook and give backrubs and stuff.
Knit one, Purl 2. Yikes woman! Watch Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oYGqXAN8R-4 or http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mwwIyoxNu8g or http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_9XImtoQmZ8 If I as a totally uninformed man can just search youtube and find like 30 videos, so can you! Good Luck HCG!
PS- Ask Phil if he wants a backrub that badly, he should fly you over!
I bought a knitting kit last month with those same dreams floating through my brain... and came up with the same results. I found this place: http://www.knittinghelp.com/... they have vids to watch. I started on Sunday and I'm almost done with a little red neck scarf. YAY!
> PS- Ask Phil if he wants a backrub that badly,
> he should fly you over!
Will she cook, too?
Oh Phil, You know way better than I do: Hot Coffee Girl not only Cooks-She Rocks!
I love your post! I will help you my child. And where did you get that photo of me?
My BFF and I learned to knit between the Religion book stacks of Borders. (NO ONE went there.) For two weeks, we got tangled in yarn and cursed amidst volumes with the Virgin Mary's glaring at us. Eventually, we made belts. And bought the Dalai Lama's biography. Twas the least we could do.
I tried to learn to knit approx. 3 times before it took in October. Find a friend who can knit and sit down with them - much better than trying to figure it out from a book. Most knitters are happy to share the skill and scarves and sweaters and blankets will be forthcoming.
Cool. Now the bf can holler, "Get in the kitchen, bake me a pie, and knit me a sweater!"
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