hot coffee girl

One of the hallmarks of a great artist is the ability to continually re-invent oneself. Madonna gets English, Michael gets a new nose, Brittany gets laid. Snoop hangs up the bong. Wait…Really?

“Would it be a tragedy to fill me the best weed”
-Gin & Juice #2

Snoop Dogg, a long-time champion of drinking and smoking marijuana, says he has given up both vices and has been clean and sober since August of last year. The Long Beach-bred rapper said being clear-headed was a great personal and business achievement. "The sharpest move I made as a business man: I stopped smoking and drinking. That was the sharpest move I could've possibly made," he told BET.com on August 22, 2002. And has also told Leno, Letterman, and anyone else who would listen the same thing.
Snoop showed up in Northeast Ohio last month at Blossom Music Center with fellow West Coast rappers 50 Cent and Jay-Z. At one point, the Dogg Father and poster boy for hard living brought up his recent claims to have gone clean.

``Y'all know I quit smokin' weed, right?'' he said, receiving a chorus of boos.
``Psyche!'' he said as one of his boys lit up on stage.
But he didn’t. So…the question still remains…did he clean it up or not?

I set out to the West Bank of the Flats to find out. Destination….Mirage. After fighting some unbelievable traffic, and parking a million miles away, I finally managed to make my way to the club. And then the fire trucks came. And the police. They shut down the street shortly after 2 a.m. and there was still no sign of the Dogg Pound. I made my way into the packed club, sipped my bottled water, and wondered if Snoop was somewhere drinking the same thing. As the music bumped, my mind started to run through the questions I had prepared for him. I had the perfect 10-minute interview ready to go… “How did Snoop Dogg go from Calvin Broadus in Long Beach to the top dogg in hip-hop and gangsta rap?” “Music, television(fa shizzle dizzle), movies … what’s next?” “With rappers 10 years younger hitting the scene, how do you intend to stay at the forefront of rap?” And of course… “So, how’s the clean life treating you?” I was ready for a poignant, thoughtful interchange, and saw the article already playing itself out.

Close to 3 a.m., the already earsplitting music swelled, and the crowd started screaming as the D.J. announced that “Snoop Dogg is in tha’ house!” Everyone in the club crushed toward the platform in the far corner, and it became evident that, indeed, the man had arrived. Making my way through hundreds of eager fans, scores of club security guards, and Snoop’s own circle, I was standing next to the Dogg himself. I introduced myself as a reporter from “Hip Pocket” magazine, and asked him if I could talk to him for a few minutes. He blinked uncomprehendingly. Okay, so he just got here, I thought, give him a minute. I took the mandatory round of pictures (look, Mom, it’s me-with Snoop)…and tried again. I leaned in (and up…man, he’s tall) and asked him if I could ask him a few questions. He mumbled something and sat down. I did the same. He then proceeded to pull out a box of Swisher Sweets, remove the cellophane, and emptied the contents of the cigar out on the table. He replaced the cigar tobacco with plump, green buds of…

What...POT?

“Wait, I thought you quit!” I alleged. He laughed and expertly rolled up the blunt and began licking it closed. I handed him my lighter, and he fired the sides dry and lit it. He puffed hard and long…and I soon discovered the reason he was all but completely incoherent. There was no gin and juice to be seen (Ohio laws about drinking in clubs after 2:00 abided?) but for the more than two hours I hung out with the “Church of Snoop”, there was enough pot smoked to choke a Grateful Dead fan. I settled in, determined that if I wasn’t going to get an interview, I was at least going to get a story. I handed him my lighter again.

After my initial disappointment of not being Cleveland’s answer to Barbara Walters with my interviewing skills, I looked around and realized that he had already answered most of my questions. Sitting next to him and watching the fans stream through, starry-eyed, waiting to shake his hand or get an autograph…I realized that he hasn’t really changed all that much. And never needed to. People loved him and turned out in droves to tell him so. Since his 1992 debut on the Dr. Dre song "Deep Cover", he has remained relevant, talented, and popular. For 10 years and running…a shelf life that’s rare in the constantly changing world of hip-hop…he has stayed true to his roots. Maybe his music has gotten more lyrical, maybe he’s learned to be more careful, maybe he even quit smoking pot for a while. But what it comes down to is that he came to Cleveland and gave people a great show. He was having a good time that night. He laughed and danced and was kind to everyone who managed to get through security. Just after 5:00 in the morning, when the house lights came up and the DJ announced that the “Church is on the move,” the crowd parted and the posse disappeared in a literal cloud of smoke.

Yes, Snoop is definitely out to try and reaffirm his position as one of hip-hop's main players. You see, at the age of 31 Snoop is no longer the new kid on the block. He's a veteran who has seen it all and doesn't need to be something critics, talk show hosts, or even hip-hop purists want him to be anymore. He only has to be himself. So, since I didn’t get to ask him, I’ll ask myself… “How did Snoop Dogg go from Calvin Broadus in Long Beach to the top dogg in hip-hop and gangsta rap?” Answer: by sticking with what made him great-a smooth, distinctive voice, a bad boy attitude, and not trying too hard to reinvent himself. “I'm still smokin', driftin', swifta than a mothafucka…” (-Gin & Juice #2)

Thank goodness you can’t teach every Dogg new tricks.

Okay, boys and girls, I have something to clear up early on.

First, let me say, that I didn't think anyone would actually stumble upon this blog, and I am flattered for the two or three readers I might actually garner in a week's time.

That being said, please - no one take this personally. If you checked the title...it's called "Random Musings"...and that is just what they are...random. I am not looking at this to be a fuck-you to anyone...I will not just air my silly grievances on a semi-lame website. I promise you, dear public, if I have a problem with any of you personally, you will not have to hear about it on a Blog. I will tell you. I swear.

I am often inspired by real life, whatever that is, but I will rarely put anything on here that is all too serious.

For example, if I write about some dumb-ass crack whore who cut me off in traffic yesterday, and your mother is actually a crack whore...well, I am probably not talking about her (unless that bitch drives an '82 blue Chevy Malibu with the bumper hanging off...if she does, then ...well...I was talking about her. Take the crack pipe away from her and get her some fucking driving lessons, would you?). Otherwise, you're probably safe.

All better now?