Entries from June 1, 2007 - July 1, 2007
an iPrayer
One of the people in my department at work, let's call him Fez (we do), stood in a very long line to get the iPhone yesterday. (I'm sure much to Dave's chagrin.) Here is a copy of the e-mail I sent out to half the people in the Agency yesterday...
-----Original Message-----
From: Kelly
Sent: Friday, June 29, 2007 1:27 PM
To: The Agency
Subject: Fez and His Quest
I know that all of you can think of nothing today other than our own Fez's quest for the iPhone. He has made it his goal...nay, obligation, to be the first in the agency to own one, thus catapulting him into a higher echelon of coolness.
I have been in contact with him all morning, and he is just fine. He is currently in line for the coveted item at Legacy Village. After much prodding, he agreed to send this picture so we could share in his line-waiting experience.
Please pray for our boy that he is successful and safe in his quest.
Our father, who art in Apple,
iPhone be thy name.
Thy Mac-dom come,
Thy will be done,
With music as it will be delivered.
Give us this day our daily tech
And forgive us for Windows
As we forgive Bill who wants to be us.
Lead us not into smugness
But deliver us from boring.
For thine is the coolest, and hippest, and trendiest,
Forever and ever. Amen.
(He got the phone, by the way. Crazy bastard.)
8 Comments
Printwhat was she thinking?
Last night, we were sitting at Dewey’s Coffee in Shaker Square, watching the world go by, waiting to join some friends for good food and good drinks.
Out of the corner of my eye, I caught a glimpse of a woman wearing the most hideous outfit. While not a whale, she was definitely not a svelte girl. Not thin enough to pull off the paisley stretch pants circa 1987. To accentuate her love handles, she had a two-sizes too small shirt that read “I Love My Boyfriend.” (Well, of course you do, sweetheart. No one else would fuck you.) It was certainly a sight to make your eyes sore.
I wondered to myself what she was thinking when she walked out of the house looking like that. Did she catch a glimpse of her reflection in the mirror and think, “Yeah. This ratty hair and these untouched roots are hot. Let’s see if I can show off the extra 40 pounds I packed on over the winter!” I don’t know. Maybe she thought she looked good. It made me start to think. I walk out of the house most days feeling pretty good about the way I look. And maybe to others, I am her. Maybe when I think I am funny, I am really just being a bore. What I perceive as intelligent discourse makes me come off as a know it all. It’s hard to have a real idea of how other people observe you.
Miss Ann (that brilliant trend-setter) put up her Johari and Nohari Windows a few days ago. I am following suit. For those of you new to the concept:
“The Johari Window was invented by Joseph Luft and Harrington Ingham in the 1950s as a model for mapping personality awareness. By describing yourself from a fixed list of adjectives, then asking your friends and colleagues to describe you from the same list, a grid of overlap and difference can be built up.” Conversely, you can choose a darker version:
“The Nohari Window is a challenging inversion of the Johari Window, using antonyms of the original words. By describing your failings from a fixed list of adjectives, then asking your friends and colleagues to describe you from the same list, a grid of perceived and unrecognized weaknesses can be explored.” (More from Wikipedia) Go on. Tell me what you think. Or do your own.
Contribute to My Johari Window
Contribute My Nohari Window
poll
$350 a night for a room and I cannot get a cup of coffee that doesn't resemble piss water without taking a $20 cab ride downtown.
How mad do you think I am right now?
Vote.
hcg
If I was mad that night, imagine how completely out of my mind pissed I was the next morning when I had ostensibly gone 24 hours without a decent cup.
When I finally drug my ass outta bed, I showered, dressed, and set out on a mission.
Yes, I was going for the Joe.
Seeing that I had 45 minutes until the second day of the conference started, I hailed a cab and asked the driver if he could get me to a Starbuck's and back before 8:30. He folded up the crossword that he had been penning and said, "Of course. Get in." I did.
As I settled back in the shabby vehicle and watched the San Diego Bay whiz by my window, it occurred to me that I might be six ways from crazy to -for all intents and purposes- be paying $25 for a Venti fix. Then the driver asked me where I was from. When I responded, "Cleveland," he started to get really agitated. "Oh, Christ. You got a lotta fucking dems out there, dontcha? Even that troll Kucinich." I chuckled uncomfortably and said, "Yeah. He's actually in my District."
The diatribe continued and included the details of his first gunfire in Korea at age 10. That he was "an Insider, not really a cab driver", and that Dick Cheney and Don (Mr. Rumsfeld) and he are very good friends. He told me about the time that he was on Secret Service detail for Susan Ford's birthday party.
I spotted the welcoming green logo just ahead. We pulled in, and I ran in and ordered "four shots of espresso and fill the rest of a venti cup with coffee, please." "Room for cream?" "No, thanks. Just a few pieces of ice would be great." (Espresso can be a little hot for chugging.) It occurred to me as the barista was pulling that strong liquidy goodness that maybe the lack of caffeine in my system has caused some kind of cabby-hallucination. That maybe I was going to go back outside and find a normal driver, not the 6'4" craggy unshaven Insider I had conjured. I grabbed the familiar green on white paper vessel and laughed quietly at my silliness.
Fuck me, no. I had not dreamed him up. He was still there, now working on the Suduko with the same pen. I took at long swig, and got back in. On the way back, he told me of the gunfight at 10 again. He talked about how he's really a killer. That he is called in when things get tough.
I sipped the strong brew again, but instead of picturing myself on the 6 o'clock news, victim of The Crazy Cabber, I relaxed and smiled.
Because it was at that point, despite paying $25 for a cup of coffee from Starbuck's, I realized that I was not the most insane person in the vehicle.
Sometimes you have to take the little victories.
tuesday round up
Miss Ann loves them. So does Dave. Here's my lazy-ass version of Blogging Bullet Points.
- I haven't heard anything on the job yet. I thought I would last week, but then schedules dictated that I wouldn't. I was told that I would know something this week. I am going crazy. Waiting is not my strong suit.
- Like LL Cool J, I'm going back to Cali. Not LA this time though...San Diego. There's an AMA conference on "Techno Marketing" that I am attending Thursday and Friday. Tomorrow's a travel day. By the grace of Travel Gods, I am going with a very cool travel companion. She's imminently cool, and knows her stuff when it comes to food. She has picked out some great places in SD for us to try...I am already jonesing for the sushi spot that we're headed to. I am looking forward to the conference, but after hours should not suck at all.
- I will not be travelling on United. Thank god. Oh-I forgot to tell you that they sent me an apologetic e-mail with the promise of a voucher for future travel. I started calculating in my head the free rooms that MGM promised us on our return and the free airfare. I thought perhaps a return trip to Vegas would be doable this fall. Until I got their "apology" in the mail yesterday. $100. Are you fucking kidding me?! One hundred dollars? Why don't you say that you're sorry by kicking me in the nuts while you laugh and point? I am more pissed now than I was if they'd have sent me nothing.
- We had to do a load of laundry last night that consisted of wet, soppy towels. Why? Because when we were cleaning up the kitchen after dinner last night, I spotted a full stock pot of water sitting on the counter. I had an overwhelming urge to throw it on The Boy. He saw the mischievous light in my eyes immediately and cautioned me against it. I did it anyhow. Man, 8 quarts of water is a lot when you are trying to mop it up.
- Whole Foods rocks. If you have one around, go. We got some amazing cheeses and wines. And the garlic herb butter seems to make everything taste like you are actually a good cook. Which I am.
- I have long hair now. It grows fast. Especially when it's someone else's. It's mine. I paid for it. Note the cool shirt. Dork.
cutest ever?
Aren't they just about the cutest couple ever?
You will not be my friend if you don't agree.
My little Brother and my new Sister.
I know the wedding was just a few weeks ago...
but is it too early to start pushing for nieces and nephews?
Hmm...