hot coffee girl

I went to WWE Raw last night at the Gund Arena in Cleveland.

But, let me explain...I won 4 tickets on WNIR (100.1 FM-great station if you are in the Akron ...) and I grabbed my husband, his friend Bryan, and Bryan's son, Nick. And we were off for a night of entertainment and what would prove to be an eye-opening experience. There is my disclaimer. And so it goes...

What I think amazed me the most about the whole endeavor was just how insane the fans of these things truly are. I expected the shirts and the signs and even the foam puffy hands to be prevalent...but these people are truly fucking crazy.

Case in point:

There was this 5 year old kid that sat behind us, 3 fresh-from-the-the-trailer brothers in tow (who, incidentally, had about 15 teeth between the four of them)...who kept screaming, "Bee-utch" and "Fuck Fear, Drink Beer" at the stage in 2 minute increments. Now, I thought about turning around to shush the kindergartener...but I doubt that an ass-whooping from the three brothers was something they would hesitate to administer to me or anyone in my party. And forget the threat of security...a night in jail for these folks would be a vacation away from piss-soaked Rent-A-Center furniture that they have decorating their tin-can of a home. For one night, they wouldn't have to be concerned that the phone and electric were shut off last month, and the ever-present domestic disturbance from the happy couple in the trailer next door next door wouldn't keep them awake. So I kept quiet.

Let's visit the guy that sat next to us in our row.

You know him.

He has sat next to you at every sporting event, airplane ride, movie-theater, and concert. His breath is a tangible fog of sour beer and jalapeno nachos. His socks are black, and tennis shoes bright white. And he has the musky scent that emanates only from a very fat man that can't quite reach all the way around to scrub the 3 day old sweat that has been marinating in his hairy back folds. Oh yeah, did I add that he has to get up to take a leak every 5 minutes? When he wasn't jumping up for more beer and nachos, that is.

Forget that some people claim that this is a distraction from every-day life. This is every day life for a lot of these people...They seriously believe that these wrestlers are larger than life, and truly have the grudges backstage that they play out onstage. Oh, but it isn't a stage, is it? It's a ring. I am overstating the obvious here, folks, but I must. THIS ISN'T REAL...IT'S ACTING. These "performers" may be athletically skilled, but they are just that...performers. These people have SAG cards. They are not truly competitors. Grab a Milwaukee's Best and get over it, Bubba.

People, if THIS is middle-America, we have no right to dog on the French. Jesus Christ...when we talk about the unwashed masses, did we mean our collective intelligence? This is the worst representation of America...proudly uneducated, stinking drunk, violently belligerent, ready to fight for a cause that is both not their own, and completely pointless.

The only saving grace to the night was that there were a lot of girls in thongs that flashed their boobs indescriminately.

And nice tits can make up for a multitude of sins.