hot coffee girl

I had a good week.

Yes, there was the shock of the Stepford Employees to deal with. And I was in Pittsburgh. But my new boss is really cool, and I have pretty much defined the projects that I will be working on over the next few months. Oh yeah-and I went to Ikea. And slept in a real bed. So, it wasn't too bad.

But while I knew that I missed home, I didn't realize how much until I started blowing kisses to the fog-covered skyline as I crossed the bridge into the 'Mont last night. I walked up the stairs and was greeted by a grumpy cat and a metric fuckton of Terrible Paintings, and I sighed with relief.

I missed my friends. I missed my HLM Ali's last day at the hell-hole we both worked in. I missed Ling. I missed beers with someone the night before a first date (name withheld to protect her privacy). I missed my Mom's purchase of a stupid SUV. I always miss my Dad. I missed my mean cat. I missed my ridiculously over-priced apartment. I missed Cleveland.

But I am home now-if only for a few days.  And while I am sure I am being a bit overly dramatic, I am going to make the most of it. I am going to put up Christmas Decorations. I am going to shop at the West-Side Market. I am going to see Ali. I am cooking Sunday Brunch. Snog and I will drink beers and Ling and I will catch up. I might even see this bohemith my Mother bought. And I will probably do it all with a little more spirit. A little more energy. A little more everything.

'Cause there's no place like home. 

You have met these people. I have met these people. And while I hate almost all people, I hate these people the most.

One-Uppers
They might briefly listen to your story, but only long enough to form their comparison. Where they are much more experienced, talented, or just generally better than you.
“You graduated with honors from college? Well, I went to Harvard, and they named a wing after me the year after I left.”

Poor Me
A sorry ass bunch. You may have something good happen to you, but the Poor-Me-res will just sigh and make you feel awful about it.
“Wow. You got a raise, huh? Well, I could have gotten a raise, but my boss is just so unfair and he never gives me the time of day. You’re lucky you have such a good boss.”

Holy Roller
These judgmental pricks will have something to say about it almost everything. And it is usually said looking down their nose at you. "Oh, okay. So you slept with him on the fifth date and he hasn't called you back yet? Don't you think that was a little slutty?" 

Doomsayers
If you need someone to kill your good mood quickly, these are the people to visit. You could run to them with the greatest news ever, and they would find a way to make it bad news fast.
“You just won 2 million dollars in the lottery? Man, did you know that instant millionaires have a 30% higher rate of suicide than those who actually work for their money?” Or perhaps… “Congratulations on being cancer-free! That is so great. I hope that it stays away, what with the recidivism rate and all. Do you worry about your daughter getting the same kind of cancer?”

Fuck 'em. 

So, here I am….back in the Cubicle Farm.

And spending the last few months chain smoking, laying around, drinking beer and working (or not) in my pajamas, did not prepare me for this.

It’s shiny here. And quiet. I can’t get over how quiet it is. Kind of Twilight Zone quiet. I mean, I was kind of going for that insane IT Department thing, and I sit in a Cube next to the Help Desk people and I almost NEVER hear anything. Heck, I am not sure that I heard two words from my Boss today. I think it was louder when I worked alone. There was more swearing, to be sure. No-fucking-body swears here. Damn it to hell.

Of course, I am right around the corner from the “New Mommy’s Room” and the Privacy Areas, where you can meditate or conduct personal business in relative seclusion … so that might explain some of it. Just around the corner from that is the store, where I can buy clothes that show my Company Spirit (I read on the Intranet that the Rowing Team did really well this year).

Lunch time is busy, though. I get up from my ergonomic chair and reduced-glare lighting to head through the pneumatic glass doors. There is this huge cafeteria/restaurant that has food that is fairly popular. And all kinds of healthy. I munched on my low-fat tomato-florentine pasta and watched Headline News on one of the 3 plasma TV’s that hang from the ceiling. Instead of picking up a book from the “Diversity Library” though, I sat and thought about all the cigarettes I didn’t get a chance to smoke since the ENTIRE FREAKING CAMPUS is non-smoking. I did the skinny from the security guard about where a girl might go for that sort of thing. It’s a memorial garden that I have to hike across the parking lot and down a stone path to partake without fear of getting caught. The thing is…the trek down and back seems a bit too much like exercise. Which is total horseshit. And apparently the Irish Coffee at the Coffee Bar has no actual whiskey in it. Just some kind of flavoring.

These are some sick bastards.

One would think that spending the entire summer fucking off er, freelancing ... that it would be easy to pick up and head out to a new town. That you would be ready. That a week's notice would be plenty.

Not so much.

I have been running around like a madwoman all week. And now I am here, in Pittsburgh, getting ready to head out for my first day back in the Cubicle Farm. (I am not sure they have cubicles, I am just assuming.)

So bear with me, folks. I will try not to be such a bad blogger this week...and I have a lot of reading to catch up on as well.  Don't give up on me just yet. 

So the Steelers beat the Browns this past weekend, and being the traitor that I am...I am off to the land of Yellow and Black. Next week, I start a consulting assignment in Merry Old Pittsburgh.

Yes, there are jobs in Cleveland. But the timing and opportunity on this one was too good to pass up. The project is exciting, the company is awesome, and the money...well, what can I say? I sold out. But only for a coupla months. The assignment is initially for a scant 10 weeks, so there is little danger of converting to the dark side, Browns fans. And I only have to spend 3 days a week onsite, so I can still kick around Cleveland for the better part of the week.

Did I mention that my hotel is 5 miles from Ikea? Sweet. Plus, I hate football anyhow. 

Any recommendations for P-Town? Shopping, dining, not-to-be-missed sites? Do tell.