hot coffee girl

Speaking about words and phrases that are making their rounds, I am a big lyrics gal. Don't get me wrong, I love the sounds that go behind some of my favorite songs. But it's really the words that do it for me.

Since we already know that I have some really ... um ... "eclectic" taste in music (some might argue downright shitty, but whatev) ... what turns me on could come from a variety of sources. Prince is a big one. But it can be Kid Rock or Ol' Blue Eyes. You never know. Here's 10 of my favorite lines, in no real order...

1. "When their eloquence escapes you, their logic ties you up and rapes you."
2. "Crabalocker fishwife pornographic priestess boy you been a naughty girl you let your knickers down."
3. "Dress me up in women's clothes, mess around with gender roles...dye my eyes and call me pretty."
4. "Grab a bottle of scotch and watch lots of crotch."
5. "Step out the front door like a ghost into a fog where no one notices the contrast of white on white."
6. "Can I mix in with your affairs? Share a smoke, make a joke, grasp and reach for a leg of hope....words all fail the magic prize. Nothing I can say when I'm in your thighs."
7. "I'm reaching out for something but touching nothing's all I ever do. I softly call you over, when you appear there's nothing left of you."
8. "And I'm getting harder than Chinese Algebra."
9. "Someday you will find me, caught beneath a landslide...."
10. "I'm more than a bird. I'm more than a plane. I'm more than some pretty face beside a train." 

I am sure that I forgot some. This is a hard one. Feel free to rip it off (let us know if you do so we visit) ... or leave your own favorite line in the comments. And if you're really bored, try to guess who the artists are. (I'll post them tomorrow or so for those who are lazy, stumped, or both.)

UP NEXT: Best movie quotes. I know. You can hardly wait. (Get janked.) 

A few posts ago, I used the word "unpossible". To The Boy's irritation, I actually use it quite frequently. I don't know why, really. I know that it's not the common usage, and I am not even sure if it is an acceptable usage at all. But since I care little and am too lazy to look it up, we'll leave it at that. (The spell-checker just told me it's not a word. But what the hell does it know...it tells me that fucktard is not, either. And we all know that's just not the case, don't we?) But back to Unpossible. I just like the word, and it seems stronger somehow than "impossible." Maybe it's the over usage of "impossible" that makes the alternative seem to have more impact.

That being said, some of us got to talking about other favorite phrases or colloquialisms. There's a few floating around the group:

• "I'm not gonna lie to you..." (Followed by either a blatant lie, or a brutal truth. Either one.)
• "You see what I did there?" (Which usually follows a very obvious comparison or statement. As in, "Man, that car really drives me crazy. You see what I did there? Car. Drive." )

Both of these above phrases have been used so much, though, that they have been banned internally from further usage. (Although I did make the "banner" agree to stop using airquotes like a "douchebag".)

Some of the words or phrases come from a specific incident...somehow one night "Hey, do you wanna split a pack of smokes" turned into a euphemism for sex. ("Hey, Max, I think your girlfriend wants to split a pack of smokes with me the way she keeps sitting on my lap.") These would be less funny to the people not directly there for the original airing.

Ever present are the pop-culture references. "Don't Taze me 'bro" has come and gone faster than it took to actually taze the bastard. If you're in a retro-mood, you could go for a long-past reference like "Where's the beef?" But really, that would be so five minutes ago. (On a side note...could the phrase 'so five minutes' ago BE so five minutes ago? Hmmm. That's really one of those ponderous questions like the tree falling in the forest and why clowns hate mimes. I am not sure we'll ever have an answer. But, I digress.) I polled a co-worker about hip phrases and he suggested "janked". I asked what it meant, and he said that he didn't know, but that two people today said something about him getting janked. I think we were both a little surprised to learn that it meant to be brutally raped by a 400-lb gorilla. Who knew?

Seriously, I love Urban Dictionary. More than Wikipedia. If you don't already love it too, the number of variations on fucktard are reason enough to want to split a pack of smokes with it.

You see what I did there?   

There's some discussions going on lately about violent crime that's been taking place in my 'hood lately. There are some who believe that crime and violence is simply part of the price that you pay for living in an urban area.

This can't really be true, can it?

I get that crime happens everywhere. But why is it more acceptable when it happens in the city versus the suburbs? I pay Cleveland city tax. I support local businesses. I keep my nose clean and don't bother anyone.  So is choosing to live somewhere other than in a cookie-cutter development on Main Street USA an open invitation to violence?

I call bullshit. 

So, we just took our Health Assessment Screenings at work.

Based on their assessment, although I should eat more fruits and vegetables, there's a pretty good chance I should not buy any green bananas, as I may not be around to see them ripen. 

Apparently, tobacco use, being overweight, and lack of exercise are bad things. So they tell me to quit being a smokey-fatty.

And then they wonder why I'm stressed. 

I stole Avi's Lazy Sunday Meme, but I was too indolent to post it until today. Yeah, I'm hardcore. 

Who was your last text from?
A co-worker. I am so goddamn exciting.

Are you wearing socks right now?
No. But I need a pedicure.

When was the last time you went out of state?
Weekend before last, we went to PA and when one of Ursula’s belts broke at 11:00 p.m. on the way home and there were no hotel rooms open within 2 exits, we had to sleep in the car in the cold with no heat until the next morning when The Boy could walk a mile and a half to Auto Zone to buy new belts and put them on so we could get home. And while the Swedes make a very safe car, they are a bit short in the overnight comfort department. I would not suggest buying a bed from IKEA based on said experience.

What was the last thing you had to drink?
If beverage in general, then you know the answer is coffee. If you're talking about alcohol, at Lopez on Lee with friends Saturday night  I had the “Flavored Flight” of tequila. Big fan of the concept, “Why have one drink when you can have four?”

What are you wearing right now?
A mostly clean t-shirt

What was your last purchase?
An SD card for my tiny new camera.

Have you bought any clothing items in the last week?
Yes…I was feeling a little shitty tonight and thought that a new outfit might cure it.

What did you do last night?
Believe this? I watched the Indians game.

If you could be anywhere you want where would it be?
In another head. This one's too fucking crazy.

One thing you hate about yourself?
Just one? Unpossible.

What's you favorite kind of soup?
Oh, I mentioned the bisque.

Do you miss anyone?
Yes.

Last movie you saw?
Rented "Little Miss Sunshine". It was fucking great.

What are your plans for the day?
Wondering where the day went.

What do you know about the future?
Less than I know about the past.

How old do you want to be when you have kids?
87.

Do you have any tattoos or piercings?
One tattoo. But I am thinking of another.

Do you like hot sauce?
Yes.

What are you doing tomorrow?
Getting a tattoo and eating wings.